“Imagine smiling after a slap in the face. Then think of doing it twenty-four hours a day.”
― Markus Zusak,
“Most men would rather deny a hard truth than face it.”
― George R.R. Martin,
It is too painful for me to pretend that everything is alright; pretending that nothing had happened between us; trying to convince myself that everything will be fine and I'll forget him eventually.
I have failed. He has failed, well, at least that's what he said. Call me stupid but I believe him.
And yes, this is another case of love that has gone wrong.
Trust me, I did not expect this to happen although I was aware of the spark between us and it is still there.
I did not wish to fall for him. Trust me. I cried a river over him.
He would come creeping into my mind at dusk and remain there throughout the day till I fall asleep at night. He wouldn't let me breathe even for a second. I tried my best to forget him, telling myself that he's not mine and will never be mine.
"If it's too painful for you to forget me, then don't. I have given up forgetting you and I will not try to forget you again," he said.
Perhaps he is right ... perhaps the best way to overcome this pain is to let it be. Being in denial is too painful for me. Admitting my feelings is a relief. I love him and I want him badly. Period.
Forgive me but all these are beyond my control. I'm trapped in my own deadly maze.